336. Needing to be more bold in my protective leadership

Have you ever wondered how leadership styles can evolve and adapt in response to community challenges? Let me take you on a personal journey inside a unique studio environment where members are both customers and instructors. Faced with the disruptive influence of a toxic few, I discovered the necessity of shifting from a libertarian, collaborative approach to a more assertive leadership style. Drawing from my own family history of softer leadership influences, I had to courageously embrace a stronger, more decisive role to safeguard the studio's morale and brand. This episode reveals the resilience and adaptability required to protect and nurture a thriving community, and how embracing change can lead to personal growth and confidence.

Leadership and confidence aren't just about grand gestures on the national stage; they start right at home with our local and state representatives. Through this introspective discussion, I emphasize how voting based on ethics, truth, and strength can empower resilient leaders willing to stand against adversity. Sharing my own journey of becoming more confident, this episode is a call to action for listeners to enhance their own capabilities and pursue their goals with determination. It's an inspiring reminder that personal growth and adaptability in leadership are vital for the greater good, and that courage can truly transform not only an individual but also the communities they serve.

Chapters

• 0:32 Embracing a Stronger Leadership Style
• 7:49 Leadership and Confidence

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:32

All right. So I'm realizing I'm stepping into a new, better version of me. We've had a lot of adjustments at the studio and a theme that's happened which I've allowed is folks that do like a goodbye post, like hey, today's my last day, I'll miss you all. See ya is the gist of it. Hey, today's my last day, I'll miss you all. See ya is the gist of it. Sometimes it's meant very cordially and amicably and like genuinely. There have been a couple times where it could be meant to like leave some trash behind while they're on their way out of the studio. And I've a little bit about me. I'm very like let everyone have a voice, everyone gets a chance to speak up. Very libertarian, don't bother me, I won't bother you, we can both live in coexistence kind of vibes, and that works in some scenarios and I'm seeing a very for a few people.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Out of 275 members, there have been a couple, I want to say a couple like five. There have been five people that are very like gross, toxic, vitriolic, disgusting humans. Whether it's a bad day, bad week, bad month, there's a few people that are absolutely atrocious, that had I seen their true colors, I don't know if I'd want them around. I don't want them rubbing off on the other 270 people, and so I've I have allowed folks to do like these goodbye posts and they're usually they're usually instructors who are doing them because, like they're both a customer and an employee, which is kind of a weird dynamic. There's not many businesses you both are a customer and an employee. But I digress and I've allowed it because I want to, like, honor them, give them space and not be this authoritarian tyrant. But if it's but like today, like a member wanted to have like a convo with some stuff, she's seeing, she's anxious, she's nervous, she's getting rattled up and let's pretend, this member is like you know what this is too much. I'm scared, I quit. And she's not gonna quit because she needs this place on multiple levels. But she needs this place. But if she said up, I quit.

Speaker 1: 2:50

By allowing all of these departure posts, I'm losing a member. I'm losing $150 a month, $180 a month, of a member who's been around for a long time and she's pretty good at kickboxing. And this is the reality. It's costing the studio money, it's chipping away at morale, it's hurting the confidence to come in, it's degrading the community that people thought was so secure and now it's a divorce and people feel like they're losing part of their family. So, no, I'm not going to be this libertarian individual like onward, because it's hurting the other family members, it's hurting the ability to run a business and it's not appropriate. I'm not going to allow that. I'm going to, in this moment, I'm going to be authoritarian on that topic because it's hurting others and I have put my head under the sand that people are getting hurt. No, it's hurting the vibes, it's hurting the studio, it's hurting the brand, it's hurting the desire for people to want to be involved and stay engaged. So, no, I'm stepping into a new confident.

Speaker 1: 4:02

It almost feels dominating because I've never, I've never seen like a proactive football player type leader who's willing to like smack around what they need to say and push someone, push the other guy to the side and say, no, my team, my guy out of the way. I haven't had that. My dad's a very soft-spoken leader in the sales world, very much collaborative work together, pulls a team, at times a pushover. There are other times where he's not as much of a pushover, but he's very soft-spoken and is very much a collaborative work-together, pull-as-a-team type of person. Dad's dad is very similar Very much. Hey, let's work together, we can work this out. Hey, let's get to the end result. We're going to hash this out. We're not going to part ways as enemies, we're going to get to a solution. Going to part ways as enemies, we're going to get to a solution. And a few times in life I've seen like grandpa, who's not here anymore, rest his soul, be triggered and be like stop it right now, and it's only a few key moments where that will happen. And so getting distracted by the origin story of family history.

Speaker 1: 5:10

I'm used to seeing this rather soft, ooey, collaborative style of leadership. I have not seen this large, powerful, strong, unshakable man as a leader that I believe I need to be more of Now. There's personalities. There's disposition, disposition, disposition, dispositions that are temperaments. So you know I'm not going to pretend to be this macho 300 pound line man who's going to push people around on a football field Of course not. That's ridiculous. But there is this side of leadership that people want to see. People don't want weakness, people need confidence, strength, determination, fortitude, a desire to win, a desire to protect, to care to stand up and to go to battle and to really do it. So right now I'm driving my truck. Yeah, it's easy to be this dominant person just talking to my phone next to my face.

Speaker 1: 6:12

Sure, it's not a real life example, but people need this and I didn't realize how much they needed this and when I tipped my toe into like being this, we're doing this on board. This is how we're going to roll Style Deep down. I don't, as of today, deep down. I don't know if people are going to get in. If I'm in the driver's seat, we're gonna go to this event tonight. Everyone, hop in, let's go. I assume no one's gonna hop in, maybe two people. If I'm driving this like big old suv, I assume people are not gonna buy into me. I assume it's gonna be me. And so I need to like hey, come on, let's go. Crew, yeah, follow me, I don't have this. Come on, we're going get in. We're Commanding presence.

Speaker 1: 7:04

This is new for me and when I've tipped my toe in the water over the past week with the business, I'm seeing people actually like, respond to it, and that surprises me and I don't know why it's surprising. But there's this other side of me that needs to step up and rise up, and right now I'm psyching myself up because it's a good power obsession, but no, I cannot be a leader while I'm a pushover. It's better for me to lead and lose than to be coaxing and timid and win. That doesn't always work. You got to read the room, read the audience. But in general people want a confident leader that they're stand behind. Last side comment and then we'll proceed on.

Speaker 1: 7:49

When people vote, let's just say you're in America, you're going to go vote. What's the election? You think of County government, dog catcher, state representative. You think of president, you think of the one powerful commander in chief? You don't think about the delegates, the collaboration, the bills, the local representatives, the state. I mean, maybe you should, you probably should, but people vote for ethics, they vote for truth. They also vote for who's not going to get pushed around.

Speaker 1: 8:19

There's bad guys out there. There are people that want to see you suffer. It's not a majority, it's a minority, but there are people out there like that. If it's two weaklings that are running, people are sad, they get anxious, they isolate, they withdraw, they don't plug into their strengths and that's a terrible prospect of a future. There needs to be leaders willing to stand up, get shot at, get smacked around, to take the punches, to get back up. People don't mind if you're a leader and you get knocked down. They don't care. They mind that you stood up, they mind that you put your neck on the line and that, ultimately, you're willing to take some beatings along the way.

Speaker 1: 9:09

So I'm learning how to do this. I'm learning how to do this. Well, I'm gonna do this confidently, because I have not historically done things confidently and sorry. I'm looking down at my phone and I'm realizing I need to call my friend, figure out where we're meeting up. So, anyhow, I'm changing who I am. I'm modifying who I am. I'm not changing, I'm enhancing who I am, and that's what I'm going to do. That's where we're at. That's where we're going. Let's rock and roll.